Beginning Now...

Dear Diary,

     I have been binging on saltwater taffy for two weeks. I feel bloated, have headaches, I'm beyond sad. I'm not depressed, I'm blue. I can't get going.

     I'm afraid of failing. I've walked around the mountain too many times.

     I'm ready, I want to feel good and have more energy. Every morning I look in the mirror and wash my face to wake up and the person I see isn't me, I really don't know her. I'm inside a person I don't recognize. I spend day after day planning how I'm going to eat, exercise and find time to meditate so I never get to doing it.

     At this moment I have a small plan to begin with and that is getting rid of a half a bag of salt water taffy. Do I kiss a few before I dump them in the garbage? I still have a frozen coconut cake in the freezer and you can bet on it, I'm having some of that before I Kim Kardasian it.

     I read somewhere that Kim Kardasian bought a dessert in NYC that cost $1,500.00; she took one bite and poured something on the rest of the dessert to destroy it. One bite only. She says she don't feel deprived but only one bite.

     When I was doing pretty good at being healthy I had a frozen coconut cake that I took one bite a day for nearly two months! A little less than half got thrown away.

     I need all the stuff on my plate, at least meat and veggie with my dessert before bed. Mostly instead of empty calories I'll have low fat Greek yogurt mixed with Uncle Sam's cereal. Filling and yummy. I also enjoy a bowl of oatmeal with Sweet n Low, half & half and I Can't Believe It's Butter.

     Speaking of oatmeal, I read an article where a woman sad she ate oatmeal for breakfast but it wasn't carrying her to lunch. The columnist said cook your oatmeal in low fat milk instead of eat and serve it with a dollop of Greek yogurt. I can say it is definitely more filling, I don't know what cooking it with milk does to it but I'm all for it. My husband liked the cooking of the oats in milk but be didn't seem to appreciate the yogurt. After 32 years of marriage we read each other pretty good. lol

     At this point I have chosen the Atkins except for my one bite a day of cake. I'll lose, I always do, it's my bad judgment that messes me up. I allow my self an extra bite and then wham. I'm an emotional eater so I need a journal to work this all out.